The answer to this question can reveal a lot about a person. When I say, ‘Little Green Men’, what do you think of?
Most people say ‘Aliens’ or more specifically ‘Martians’. Not me, for as long as I have been alive, my answer has been ‘Goblins’.
As such, when I heard tale of a band fronted by a Goblin playing in Glasgow, I knew exactly what I had to do. I told my dad, the origin of the obsession, and we immediately bought tickets. The band in question? Melodic Death Metal champions, Nekrogoblikon.
Inside the Glasgow Garage, we are confronted by the sight of hundreds of neon green goblin ears snugly protruding from winter hats, what a welcome! If you have any knowledge of me, you’ll probably have guessed I did a total of zero research before this gig. As such, when Party Cannon strode on stage, I was delighted to discover they’re Scottish!
Almost delighted enough to miss the bog roll heading directly for my head. In no time, the crowd is a thrilling madness: Loo roll, beach balls and a large inflatable dolphin bouncing around along with the crowd.
Image Credit: Party Cannon Via Instagram (@Party_Cannon_Official)
With singles such as ‘Thirst Trap’ and ‘Weird but not illegal’, the band put on a thoroughly wild performance. When you have a second to look on stage between concert dodgeball, you can see a man whose job description seems to be ‘wear skeleton head’ and ‘wield giant signs’.
As I watch a man sit astride an inflatable dolphin riding around the circle pit while skull head wields a giant penis on stage, I can’t help but wonder, what could possibly come next?
Allegaeon is a study in contrast. The non-Scottish band’s lead singer, Ezra Hayes, can growl like a demon but moves his hands like a classical conductor as he sings.
It’s almost mesmerising to watch. Luckily, I don’t have time to get caught in the spell, as nobody has managed to take back the party gear left by the previous band. Balls repeatedly fly past my head, the dolphin is always a fear, and somewhere we have lost the toilet paper.
Image Credit: Allegaeon / Metal Blade Records
Hayes manages to get his hands on the dolphin long enough to chuck it back into the crowd in a truly spectacular fashion. It is beautiful, and time flies in a way possible nowhere but at a concert.
Between bands, we, the crowd, manage to start a game of catch with the balcony crowd; the whole crowd boos and cheers depending on whether the animal is caught. We stop only to sing along to the Pokémon theme tune playing over the speakers.
Nekrogoblikon enters the stage, and they are everything I could have ever hoped for.
John Goblikon is charismatic and chaotic, with a knack for the kind of crowd work I think too many bands miss in 2025. He stirs the crowd to greater and greater heights of energy.
Image Credit: Nekrogoblikon Via Instagram/ Cameron Gile @Camerongile
Second vocalist Dickie Allen is also brilliant. He and Goblikon are so in sync that sometimes it’s hard to tell who is speaking as he mouths along to the screams. They achieve the Trifecta: mosh pit, circle pit, and wall of death.
Still, the dolphin dives around. The wall of death could’ve been a bloodbath as the crowd was asked to divide into Celtic and Rangers, but we managed to keep the violence to an appropriate amount. Personal highlights include during ‘Row’ when a bunch of people sat on the floor and began to row for the row pit, and the lead up to ‘Show me your Goblin’ where we all chanted to ‘Kill the (goblin) King!’ with great vigor.
We leave a gibbering hoard of madness, as any good goblin army should be. I only have one lingering question as we leave the venue. What became of the Dolphin?
Image Credit: Nekrogoblikon / Nekrogoblikon Inc.
The Mourning Paper 